madness.

Saturdays in Maap.

Across the country, people are scratching teams off their NCAA brackets one by one as the upsets start rolling in.

It’s one of my favorite times of year - March Madness.

I love the excitement of watching college basketball. Especially in this tournament setting. It’s so emotional. Really, it’s just the best. Unfortunately, it’s just not possible for me to stream any of the games here so I’m pretty much out of the loop. But I filled out my bracket anyway. What the Butler.

coolest kids in all of Nimar.

Meanwhile, on this front, I’m dealing with a completely different type of madness.

Termites.

On Saturday, it poured all day. We’re in the dry season now, but what that really means is that it's just less rainy than the rainy season. It still rains frequently. The dry days are just brutally hot.

Sarah and I ventured into the monsoon to walk into town to get some lunch in the afternoon. Upon our return, I laid all of my clothes out around my room so they would dry. The rain jacket that the Spring Hill admissions office gave me as payment for being a tour guide was soaked all the way through. Talk about the most useless possession of all time: a low-quality rain jacket during an actual flood.

This morning when I woke up, all of the clothes were still completely drenched, and on schedule to start growing mold any second. So I went into my closet (which is just a hole in the wall in my room) to grab my hamper to wash whatever else was dirty. And that’s when I heard it.

A most unsettling noise.

I knew immediately there was something living in my closet. I was too disgusted to figure out exactly what was going on, but I also realized that if I ignored it, it might get worse.

Y’all know how I like to ignore things that need to be fixed. (see: last fall when I didn’t have a light for two months)

The floor of this closet is lined with boxes of things my sweet mother has shipped to me. One box was on the bottom of the stack, more precious than the rest.

It was filled with bags of veggie straws and belvita breakfast cookies - two of my favorite snacks - remaining hidden until the end of Lent because I gave up snacking.

But I soon discovered it was also filled with termites.

I cannot describe the noise that was coming out of that box. I cannot find the right words. But it was the WORST.

So I put the box outside, and later put it in a trash bag and drove it a couple of miles away to the island dump. That may have been a little dramatic, but it felt right. I needed that box to be far away from me, even though it contained some pretty wonderful things.

plumeria are easily the most beautiful flowers.

On this same note of madness, many of you have asked me lately how basketball is going.

I don’t currently have much to say, as we haven’t played a game or anything yet, but the practices have actually been completely awesome. We do lots of cool drills and I even hear some of the boys say things like “I like this one” when we do stuff I came up with, so I think it could definitely be worse.

I’m hoping we never have to play a real game, though, because running drills and blowing a whistle and watching scrimmages are things far different from calling plays and creating strategies and breaking presses and subbing players. 

some of our students at a school event last Friday.

The past two weeks have been pretty slow moving, but great all the same.

Last Saturday, we went to Maap for the day. Abby and I swam out to the reef and it was way cool. The water is unbelievable. I still haven’t gotten used to that, and I don’t think I ever will. I’ll miss it when I’m gone.

Maap is the real deal.

The following day, Nick and I had our final two open-water dives to complete our certification. We went to our usual ocean dive spot for the first one and then took the boat out way beyond the reef for the last dive.

I WAS SO EXCITED.

Beyond the reef! There’d be such cool things out there beneath the huge waves. Turtles, sharks, mantas, urchins, big fish - all kinds of stuff. 

*interjection*

Has anyone seen the movie Surf's Up? Easily the most underrated animated movie of ALL TIME.

It's a documentary about surfing and it's BRILLIANT. Seriously. Brilliant. Shia Labeouf is an ARTIST.

This one goes out to Big Z and the LA road trip participants of 2014:

"Stepped on me? Stepped on me?! Are you kidding? This guy was dancin' on me. Look at this. Broken, broken, gone, gone, broken, broken, broken-"

*end interjection*

I was psyched. And secretly hoping to see a dolphin. Y’all know how I feel about dolphins. I would’ve cried.

But something horrible happened. It’s called dry-heaving. And I thought post-grads weren’t supposed to do that (ba-dum-tiss).

Here’s the break down:

We were supposed to report to the boat at 8:30 AM, which was significantly earlier than any of our other lessons. So I forgot to eat breakfast, oops. Nick and I got straight on the boat. As the boat drove out to our first dive spot, we set up our tanks/gear. Dive for about an hour. Come up, re-orient ourselves, rest for an hour on the boat. Drive boat to new location. 

Once we anchored beyond the reef, we had to disassemble all of our gear and reassemble it with a new tank (you always have to use a full tank for a new dive), but standing on that boat and bending over and unscrewing parts and screwing them back together proved to be a lot for me while the boat was being rocked by big waves. 

Oh, oh, oh.

Also I ate SEVEN slices of banana bread during the break between dives (recall: no breakfast). So.

So then I doubled over the side of the boat, ready to spill my guts, but alas, nothing happened. Except the driver took us back within the reef where the water is calm and we dove there instead. 

Made me feel like a giant baby. Or one of those old-time ladies who wore corsets and fainted every ten minutes. Which is like my least favorite thing that ever happened in history because all the women were just feeble as hell and nobody wants that.

ANYWAY.

Despite my lame nausea (which was kind of worth it because the banana bread was BOMB), we still had a great dive. I saw a few sea turtles and was swimming right next to one of them. There were also starfish and a few clams that opened up and looked pretty sweet on the inside. Some of the fish were also very big.

That was a well-crafted sentence. “Some of the fish were also very big.” Wow.

Nick and I are going to do another dive soon with Laurel and Sana. We want to go to this spot called Vertigo where all the sharks are. I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures when we do that one.

the moon is always so big here.

This past Friday, we had a Prose and Poetry event at school. Our students had been practicing all semester and performed short monologues and skits. I helped a couple of groups each week with their preparation, and I knew they’d do an awesome job.

I was in charge of the bake sale, a continuous concession stand throughout the night of the performance, so I was unable to actually watch any of the performances. It was unfortunate to have to miss them, but I could hear lots of people laughing and saying great things about the students. They’re so talented, I know it was amazing.

sophomore girls helping with the bake sale.

But I actually had a total blast under the bake sale tent. The students who volunteered their evening to work with me were being so hilarious the entire time. It was so enjoyable. I wish I could convey some of the jokes that were made but I suppose they wouldn’t make any sense out of context. Just know that these Yapese kids have some of the wittiest, smartest humor I’ve ever been exposed to. It’s incredible.

cracking me up all night.

Sometimes I just think about how I’m on a literal speck of land in the middle of a huge ocean. Which is absolutely insane. How did I get here.

outrigger canoe in Maap.

But I’ve been trying to soak in this time here while I can. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I have to leave Yap eventually. In just over two months, actually. It is quite bittersweet. I know I will cry uncontrollably when I have to go, so I try not to think about it too much.

sunrise view from my house.

As I think about it realistically, though, I don’t know if or when I’ll ever be able to come back here. It is so far away and the flights are inconvenient and expensive. There’s also not much (or anything) to do here if you’re not working, so I don’t know that it would necessarily make sense to return without a significant purpose. 

Obviously I would love to come back and visit, but will it ever happen?

Who knows.

That freaks me out. So I’m trying to just get everything I can while I’m here. People keep saying “soak it in, soak it in,” but I’ve had to take some time to actually figure out what that means for me.

another sunrise from the house.

For me, it means taking drives down the main road of the island any chance I get. Seeing all of it - the trees, the hills, the flowers, the family stores on the side of the road. Waking up for sunrises, being outside for sunsets. Staying out late looking at the stars on clear nights. Taking walks with stray dogs, swimming in the ocean, listening to island reggae. 

I actually feel like I’m soaking it all in. It’s a bizarre feeling, but I don’t hate it.

It’s nothing like feeling as if termites are crawling all over your body, which is how I feel right now while I write this.

Anyway, I’m grateful for this time here. It’s just been really lovely lately, and I’m very happy.

Big thanks to all of you who have continued to write me letters and send messages. I know the time difference is lame and challenging but it means a lot that you’re reaching out anyway. You keep me sane. 

Another shout out to my family. My hardest weeks here are always the ones when all of my siblings are home, so thanks for taking a solid six hours out of your spring breaks to catch up with me. I know it wasn’t easy (Jeff).

more than you bargained for.

I’m sorry for not writing more last month. But then again, 80% of me doesn’t understand why I’m apologizing because how many people are still reading this? This writing isn’t nearly as funny as it used to be. In a lot of ways, I feel like humor is the only source of entertainment, but I know that’s not true. I’ll try to be better about that in the final stretch of my time here. Until then, this post is mostly informative, but it has some of the best pictures to date.

February was relatively uneventful. Aside from the usual coconuts and dead rats, here are a few things of note:

After teaching about Japanese occupation in Micronesia and Japanese internment in America, some of my freshmen students decided to call me “sensei”. The Japanese brought modern education systems to Micronesia so sensei is actually a really common word here. “Bow to your sensei. BOW TO YOUR SENSEI.”

In literature we’ve been reading spooky weird short stories, like “A Rose for Emily” and “The Yellow Wallpaper”. If any of you ever teach literature, always go with the creepy ones. There’s so much symbolism, I love it.

The five of us have been doing theme weeks for dinner and it’s really turning us into incredible cooks. First was Euro Week. We had food from Italy, Germany, Spain, Russia, and England. The best was definitely Devi’s homemade fish and chips with local fish. UGH. Made me think of that very first Irish meal on Grafton Street @hannah @arianne. Let’s go back. Next was South American week. We did Argentina, Peru, Bolivia, and Guyana. The Peruvian food I made was seriously so good. So here’s the recipe in case you’re feeling edgy.

http://www.quericavida.com/recipes/peruvian-arroz-con-pollo-chicken-and-rice/dd5300c0-124e-4169-8873-caad25ab7fe9 

We watched a bunch of Oscar-nominated movies to prepare for the awards show - Arrival, Manchester by the Sea, and La La Land. We’ve been working on getting Moonlight, but that has proved to be a challenge. The movies were all super good. You know that scene in Arrival when Amy Adams is trying to buy more time and she tells that fake story about how the kangaroo got its name because of a miscommunication? That’s actually exactly how Yap got it’s name.

REAL INFORMATION: When the first group of European explorers arrived on Yap, they pointed at the island and asked the chief what the name of the land was. The chief thought they were pointing at his canoe paddle so he answered, “Yap” (the Yapese word for canoe paddle). But the original Yapese name of the island was actually Wa’ab. 

Diving instruction is down to just Nick and me. We finished our lengthy confined water dives in the pool and are more than ready to move on to the open water. More to come.

So, now it’s March. In case you haven’t looked at a calendar recently.

dat ash doe.

March 1st is Yap Day (!!!), a celebration of the beautiful and unique culture of this island. Each island in Micronesia, even the individual islands of each state, have different culture. Yap Day actually lasted a full three days this year, which was totally awesome. There were dances from various villages all over the island, lots of local food, and opportunities for everyone to learn more about Yap through watching and doing. The rest of this post is all about Yap Day, but beware, Yap Day provides an opportunity for people to dress in local attire. And for those of you who don’t remember from the very begging of this blog, formal dress for women means topless. That’s right, this chick who used to be terrified of nudity embraced both culture and womanhood this week. Proceed with caution.

Day 1 - Living History Museum, Colonia

living history museum - traditional houses

The first day was in town. I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before, but Yap is divided into ten municipalities. Each municipality has several villages within it. There is one place on the island that is not a village. This place is “town”. The name of the town is Colonia. We live on a hill just above Colonia, in a village called Nimar in the municipality of Weloy. So the location of this first day was super convenient for us. Just a quick walk down the hill.

full crew for day 1

Our students had a booth set up where they were making nuunuws and selling coconuts and teaching people how to weave baskets. 

weaving demo

Nick and I both seized the opportunity to learn how to weave, and we were successful! One of our freshman students taught us how to make a basket out of a single palm branch.

learning how to weave

finished product

The afternoon ended with a traditional dance from Weloy, which one of our students participated in. 

Day 2 - Maki, Gagil.

The second day took place in a village up north. The site was awesome. I had been once before, but it felt much different to be there on such a special day.

our neighbor, Summer, enjoying yet another coconut

There is a lot of stone money (rai, in Yapese) as well as remains from schools that were built during the Japanese era. We went on a tour through the grounds and saw a traditional men’s house that was just designated as a world heritage site, so that was pretty sweet.

men's house

rai

There was, of course, more food and more dancing. There were a lot of people there on this day, locals and tourists alike. 

underrated: taro and copra

Perhaps the most interesting part of the day, though, was the fact that all five of us decided to “go local”. 

For men, the local garment is a thuw. At different ages, a man will wear anywhere from one to three pieces of cloth. The amount and the color both hold significance. Grown men wear three thuws, covered by a striped lavalava and dried hibiscus. 

traditional men's clothes from youth to elder

Women wear grass skirts. Aaaaaaaand that’s about it. Grown women also wear a black cord around their necks to symbolize full womanhood. White people also wear as many leis as possible.

traditional women's clothes from youth to elder

I know that anyone reading this has questions. The one that kind of encompasses all other questions came from my friend Jacquelyn. After seeing a picture from the festival, she asked me, “Who are you?”

Let me explain.

I remember sitting at a table outside of Zoe’s Kitchen with my mom in late July last year. I got an email from one of the priests here that had a document full of advice from previous volunteers. It gave a ~*brief*~ overview of things to expect in Yap. I read it out-loud to my mother. I still remember both of our reactions when I mentioned topless women. She seemed horrified by this cultural norm that was simply different from what we were used to. I laughed out loud. Partially out of nervousness, partially because I realized that I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.

As I knew Yap day was approaching, I reassured my family and friends countless times that I would not “go local” because it just wasn’t for me. 

If you know me well enough, you know that nudity freaks me out! Or it used to, at least. Ask my college roommates. I’m cracking up right now as I write this because I can’t stop thinking about you, Margot. I want to know exactly what you’re thinking. You must be so proud of me!

Anyway, it was decided. I’d wear a grass skirt because a generous student in my homeroom volunteered his grandmother to make me one and it turned out BEAUTIFULLY. He asked her to put purple in it because of my hair, which I thought was hilarious and sweet. He also sings “Mary Did You Know” like every morning and it cracks me up because that song is the absolute worst.

We had school on Monday and Tuesday of this week before the time off for Yap Day(s). During those days I had countless conversations with students in each grade about whether or not they’d attend Yap Day and whether or not they’d dress locally. Many of them did not want to go, and those that were did not plan on dressing in the traditional clothes. 

This really bothered me.

one of my students spent hours making me this lei

I explained to each of these students that the culture they have in their home is so wonderfully special. There are few places on earth that have culture as pure as this. Many countries have occupied this space, but they have kept their tradition despite the changes others have tried to make permanent. In history, I’ve been teaching my students about how each time an occupying country left, the Micronesians would bounce back and re-instate the aspects of their culture that were removed by foreigners. The resiliency is impressive. Culture like that deserves to be embraced. As advertised, I got emotional during these conversations. I didn’t cry (surprise!) but I know the students could tell how serious I was, how much I meant what I was saying. They realized it was important to dress like their ancestors, especially if they only really have the opportunity to do so once a year. We talked about how there are a few parts of the tradition that are outdated and oppressive and  deserve to fade (like the caste system), but there are many things that need to be saved to avoid complete deterioration. As time goes on, fewer people are participating in local dances and other traditional customs. I wanted my students to realize how scary that is. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. They are responsible for maintaining this rich history.

I went home unsettled. So many thoughts flooded my mind as I began to reconsider going local myself. I thought about what people might think of me. I decided I didn’t care at all what anyone else thought, but at the same time this is a culture built on respect. I didn’t want any Yapese person to think that I saw this as a day to dress up in a costume so that I could try to stand out or look important. So there’s a fine line there. I didn’t know which side to fall on. I’ve also been thinking a lot about hypocrisy lately. There is just so much of that in the world and this was one way I could eliminate some hypocrisy in my own life. I couldn’t live with the idea of telling my students to do something that pushed them out of their comfort zone if I wasn’t willing to do the same thing. Being topless in public, whether it is part of your culture or not, requires a lot of confidence. I couldn’t expect anyone else to display such confidence if I was going to sit comfortably in the background, wearing a shirt. I needed my words to mean something.

a student that I mentor that I LOVE helping me put on my skirt (ft. Nick + coconut)

Which brings us to Thursday. All five of us did it. We did it to show respect for our students, to show respect to the new home we have found on this island, to show respect for the people here that we have loved and been loved by, and for the culture that makes this place exactly what it is. It was a good decision. I wouldn’t take it back for anything. But once was also probably enough.

as close to local as we'll ever be

Day 3 - Village View, Maap

THIS WAS THE BEST DAY OF ALL TIME.

Laurel and me

After Maki, Laurel (my super great Peace Corps friend from Tomil) and I stayed at a friend’s house in Maap. The chiefs were paid to refrain from drinking (anything) and using water (for anything) to ensure that there would be no rain for the final day of celebrations. Because of this (I guess) there was strong wind and rain all through the night.

But then also it rained for most of the morning. Oh well.

The final day started with a group of the tiniest children singing a few songs to welcome everyone to Maap. They were led by Sana, who is quite possibly the kindest person I’ve ever met.

little ones singing "Yap's My Island" in Yapese

This was followed by a prayer ritual, blessing the men from Yap and her outer islands who would soon be sailing locally made traditional outrigger canoes. One of the elders had a smoldering branch and was using the smoke for the ritual, but the crazy wind was blowing embers all over the place. I got burned a few times, including a pretty decent burn on my neck. It was confusing in the moment because everyone in the front was getting burned, but it was actually pretty funny.

navigators

Immediately after the blessing, Laurel, Nick, and I jumped onto the biggest canoe and set sail with our crew of four thuw-clad Yapese men. The wind roughened up the water a bit, but the rain held off. The sail doesn’t swing across the boat when you need to catch wind coming from a different direction the way it would on a regular sailboat. Instead, the men have to literally detach the pole that connects the sail to the boat and turn it around quickly in order to turn around. During this process, a rope snapped and our sail fell in the water. We were stranded, but we were all just laughing. 

A small motor boat towed us to shore, but the waves along the way drenched us completely, so we may as well have jumped in the water and pulled the boat ashore ourselves. It was just fun. A great start to the day.

it's hard to tell, but we're drenched.

The people in Maap set up five stations for everyone to participate in. Each station taught everyone something new about Yapese culture. If you completed all five stations, you could get a certificate. Obviously I was into that. So Laurel and I tried to do all of the activities as quickly as we could.

First we did sailing. There, I learned about the original traditional navigators that explored the islands and settled them. They’d sail for months, years at a time. Each year, crews from all over the Pacific Islands sail to a specified destination. Last year it was Guam. Coming up later this year, they’ll sail all the way to Hawaii, which is absolutely insane but so dang cool.  Our voyage leader told us that each year fewer people are interested in learning traditional navigation, which is why they chose to incorporate it into the celebration of Yap. The hope was to instill a desire to sail in some of the younger people. I think it worked - everyone looked so happy.

canoes in Maap

Next, we took a Yapese language test. The words we were quizzed on were ones I already knew - Mogethin means “welcome” or “hello”, Kefel means “goodbye”, Kamagar means “thank you”. Now you’ve learned something, too.

We then got checked off for wearing local attire. I didn’t wear mine today but Sana was in charge of that so she vouched for me from the day before.

Then, we learned how to husk coconuts. Tommie, our friend that works at the post office, taught us how to do it. They put a tall stick in the ground and it has a sharp point on top. You have to shove the top part of the coconut onto the stick and push it down so the husk rips off. Tommie made it look insanely easy but I could barely do it. Technically he husked like 3/4ths of mine but it still counted. I learned how to do it, I’m just not good at it.

The last thing we had to do was learn how to tie certain knots that the navigators use on the boat. It took me a few tries but I got there, knocking out the last challenge.

The day ended with more food and dancing. This time, we got to see a men’s dance, which are performed more rarely than the co-ed dances. Maap is known for having one of the better dance crews, and they didn’t disappoint. I wish I had pictures or videos for you, but I was too engrossed in what was going on in front of me.

Yap day was a wonderful celebration, and I feel so lucky that I got to be a part of it. I learned so many new things about the island and her people and her traditions and I’m grateful for that. As I’m entering the final three months of my time here, I’ve pushed myself to reflect on whether or not I’m satisfied with my experience. I am proud of all I have accomplished here, but I am still ready for more. I know there may not be many days ahead of me as exciting as these last three, but they will be charming in their own way.

I have grown exponentially in these last seven months. For starters, I wasn’t too embarrassed to bare it all in front of friends, students, co-workers, acquaintances, strangers, and tourists. 

In the meantime, I will continue embracing, to the best of my ability, all that is here while I also plan, to the best of my ability, for my future. I’m waiting to hear back from graduate school programs and I’m also applying for jobs both at home and in the western states that fascinate me so deeply. My mind changes every day and I always have new ideas, but I am constantly comforted by the words of those who have blazed trails before me. I’d like to give a shout out to my cousins for the examples they have set for me - Especially Matt and Emma. Y’all are the greatest. Thanks for being cool and wise and inspiring and actually the best.

Alright, I told myself I wouldn’t go to bed until this was written and it is now 4 am and this took five hours because the interned is always good at weird hours and season 4 of 30 Rock is really distracting. Thanks again for taking the time to learn alongside me. Until next time.