I can say with a lot of confidence that over the past six months, this was the number one most used word in my vocabulary.
But where is Micronesia, anyway?
"Where the (insert expletive) is Micronesia?!"
"You're going where?"
"Oh, you're crazy....that's in the middle of nowhere!"
"Wait, you're living on an ISLAND?!"
And my personal favorite, "Why?"
I had just as many questions as all of you. The thing is, I didn't ask any of them. I didn't need to. I knew from the start that this was for me.
Micronesia. Yap. August 8th. Volunteer teaching. Jesuit high school. South Pacific. North of Australia, south of Japan. History, English, Theology.
These are the details I have repeated countless times to friends, family, neighbors, and strangers. When you talk about something for six whole months, it stops feeling real. Micronesia feels more like a word than it does a place. It doesn't feel like the place I'll call home for the next 12 months. It's just something to talk about, a point of conversation. The conversation has lasted six months now. I think it's about time to make it my home.
I leave one week from today. I leave my family, my friends, warm showers, netflix, Texas sunsets, and ice cream (still haven't looked into the ice cream situation on the island, just trying to prepare myself for the worst). More than anything, I am excited. I am ready to find out why I have been called to this place, why the Lord wants me there at this time. I am ready to learn more about the culture and way of living, like why I need to carry a leaf when I leave (leaf) my village. I am ready to be a part of a new place so vastly different from my home or anywhere else I've been. I am ready to grow and change into a truer version of the woman I am called to be.
Please be with me through this journey. Pray for me, for my students, for my experience. Write me letters and send me messages in a bottle (I assure you they'll wash up on shore before a package can get to me). I can't imagine very many people will read this blog through the whole year, but I hope that you do. I hope that this can be a forum to generate understanding of the world that we live in. I have always believed that the only way we can find peace among one another is to understand each other. My girl Mother Teresa once said, "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." Ultimately, my wish is to be with people who remind me what it means to be human, what it means to be a child created by the same Heavenly Father. I want to live my life alongside people who have almost nothing in common with me, aside from our humanity and our faith in the One who blessed us with it.
Before I go, there are hundreds of people to thank. First, I want to thank anyone that had anything to do with me going to Belize three years ago - whether you run ISIP, you went on a trip and encouraged me to apply, or you joined me on that adventure. This was easily the most pivotal experience in my life and I am so grateful for the way it has changed me and ignited my passions.
Next, I want to thank everyone who stands behind me. All of my supporters, the loud ones and quiet ones alike. I am grateful for those of you who were able to come to my going away party and listen to me kind of get roasted by my brother after I gave an inaudible speech of gratitude that could not be understood by human beings due to the highly anticipated tear flow. I am thankful for each person who has told me they are proud of me or excited for me, for everyone who has said they support me, even though what I'm doing is absolutely insane. Your words and your support will carry me when I forget why I am doing something so difficult. You have to know that I am terrified, but the people who love me are going to be the real heroes here.
I also want to give a shout out to the man, the myth, the legend herself - Arianne Stallings - for giving me the name for this blog. This time in my life isn't a gap year between school and career, it's a year I'll spend glorifying the Lord on the island of Yap. It's not a transition or a segue or even an opportunity to stall and think about what career path I want to take. It's simply a part of my life I always knew I wanted, a piece of the puzzle that God didn't want me to skip over. So cheers, Aripop. You get me, and your pun beat out everyone else's.
Most of all, I want to thank my immediate family. Each of the five of you had such different reactions and opinions while we were making this decision together, but it means so much that we are all in the same place now. I love you for being brave enough to let me go, even though I am just as afraid as you are. Thank you for giving me everything I've ever needed.
I want to remind everyone why I am doing this. I am not a savior. I am not fixing a problem or changing the world or gracing poor people with my white privilege or private school intelligence or American freedoms. I am going to learn, to understand, and to be a part of something bigger than myself. I am answering a call that I don't quite feel worthy of accepting. I am responding to Christ's call to discipleship from Luke 9:23-25, the very same verses I chose long ago to guide me through the rest of my life. I am chasing a dream - the only dream I've ever really had. I am going to see the world so that I may be changed by it.
In the words of Chandler Bing, "Join me, won't you?"
In Christ,
Madeleine
