dirty feet.

Hello, hello from the tiny island of Yap!

Many of you have asked how I am fairing these days, and I'm here to tell you that overall, I am doing extremely well! I am loving this new lifestyle, though many things are still unfamiliar or unknown.  I haven't cried nearly as much as I bet you think I have, but my emotions are certainly all over the place. One minute I'm over the moon excited about anything and everything, and the next I'm missing the most random things about home, like baseball and high quality toilet paper and indoor temperatures below 90 degrees.

My travel experience was far more positive than I anticipated.  I had a quick flight from Dallas to Houston, followed by a long one to Honolulu.  It wasn't until I was at my gate in Hawaii that I realized I was actually leaving the country.

Heading out with my biggest supporters and one rando backing me up!

It hit me pretty hard, and immediately after meeting Nick, one of my fellow volunteers, I began to cry. The weight of what I was about to do was suddenly so heavy. I was scared and nervous and I felt stuck. I felt uncomfortable.

I like feeling uncomfortable. Rather, I like the idea of it. Comfort is for the weak, I've always thought. What's livin' without pushing your limits, right? Ehh. That's kind of aggressive. In this state of sudden and suffocating discomfort, I began to change my views. Comfort is nice. Comfort is, well, comfortable. Why would we want anything different?

Nick, in his cool and collected state, unknowingly challenged me to push myself to stick to my original thoughts on this subject. I told a few people before I left that the reason I was doing this is because I knew it would be hard. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do hard things, because I was deeply inspired by someone who had recently proved this same thing to himself. Well, here I was, faced with this hard thing. Honolulu had proven to be just about too much for me, but I was only halfway to the place that will probably be the hardest challenge of my life so far.

We got to Guam, Nick and I, and had a pretty long layover. Everything in the airport was closed, it was some time late Tuesday night, and we were starving. We ignored our hunger by sharing stories and learning new things about one another (because we knew zero things about each other previously, except that we both saw Coldplay in NYC earlier this summer - off to a promising start).

With less than an hour left before we boarded our final flight, I saw the most comforting sight I had seen all day: a Mormon missionary walked up and sat in a chair at our gate. YES. She was soon joined by two others, and I realized that these people either served on Yap or in Guam and obviously I had to find out. 

There is a very specific group of people reacting to that last paragraph right now, and I know exactly who you are and what you're thinking. I know, I'm ridiculous. But, like, what else did you expect from me?

So Nick and I went to introduce ourselves to the missionaries. They're awesome, of course. AND ONE OF THEM IS BRITISH AND HE KEPT SAYING BRITISH THINGS LIKE "AYE" AND "I DON'T UNDERSTAND BASKETBALL" AND IT WAS GREAT. We soon discovered that they live very near to us on Yap and would be there the entire time that we'll be here, so it was good to already have some familiar faces. We have seen them three times now, so yeah. It's been grape.

We met Sarah, the third of our five volunteers, as we were boarding, and the three of us survived our shortest flight of all.  We landed in Yap, and here's where things get interesting.

I stepped off the plane around 12:30 am after nearly 30 hours of travel to be greeted by a woman in a grass skirt (topless, because arrivals are a formal occasion I suppose) who bestowed upon me a beautiful flower lei. We went through "customs" ("did you declare anything?" "nope." "okay, cool.") to see the smiling faces of the Jesuits and some of our future students.  They gave us each another lei and several headpieces, and they were so beautiful. It was like Coachella, but better because my flower crowns were made by young Yapese girls and instead of tripping on drugs I was just stumbling under the weight of my heavy bags/dealing with delirium due to lack of sleep. 

**Just an author's note for the olds out there, I don't do drugs. We're good.

So, there are three Jesuit priests and one in formation that live here in Yap. They, along with the principal of YCHS, have been showing us around and getting us acquainted with everything the past couple of days.  We are waiting on Abby, who arrives on Saturday, before they take us around the rest of the island. So far, we've only spent time in Colonia, a "major" city, and Nimar, our village that is within city limits.

Backyard at the Jesuit residence. INSANE, right?!

In these places, I have learned many lessons. I've survived giant bugs and awkward introductions and power outages and torrential downpours. Because this post is already so long (and mostly useless, my b), I will just tell you about one cool thing that is a permanent part of my life here.

Dirty feet are my new normal.

We take off our shoes before entering most buildings or rooms, so my feet are probably going to be pretty gnar when I get home (sorry, Jennifer).  But for real, I think this is the most exciting thing ever. I GET TO TEACH BAREFOOT. It's going to be really hard to get a job when I come home because I'll just have this expectation of not wearing shoes and everyone will get grossed out by me and I'll just get fired.

But for this year, I'm good.

My lil' school.

Guys, this place is truly NUTS. A thousand thoughts flood my head as I try to explain this island and everything on it in a blog post. I assure you there is no way you could understand Yap without being here, but over the course of the year I will try my best to paint an accurate picture of this beautiful island and all of the incredible people on it. There is a lot about being here that is challenging me so much already. Every so often I am reminded just how uncomfortable I am, but I'm surviving!

I am very ready to begin teaching. Yesterday, I got all of the books I'll use in my three courses and guys, I have my work cut out for me the next week and a half before school starts. Would you believe I haven't read ANY of the eight novels I have to choose from for my 10th grade Literature class? I feel like my high school teachers let me down (except you, Mr. Bauroth). Anyway, I started reading 1984 immediately and shabeep I love it already. 

Look at all those chickens.

Walking around the campus yesterday felt so good. I felt at home and at peace. I felt comfortable. It is hard being in a place so small with so little to do, but the start of school will give me more to do than I'll probably even have time for. I am ready to be busy and to feel needed. I'm ready to meet these kind and wonderful and unbelievably well-behaved students I've been hearing so much about.

I get to work with all four grade levels and I'm psyched. I'm looking forward to learning Micronesian History with my freshmen as I attempt to teach it to them. I'm freaking out about teaching poetry to my sophomores because, if you've ever taken a lit class with me you know how embarrassing it is to listen to me attempt to understand poems. I'm really excited about my junior homeroom class, which is apparently filled with a lot of hysterical personalities. And most of all I am so overjoyed about tackling the entire Bible with the seniors in our Sacred Scripture class. 

New chapel on campus.

Prayers for myself and my students and colleagues are so appreciated as we look to start the school year. I know that this is a job that I can't handle without the grace of God and I'll take any help I can get. If you have any tips or suggestions for me (especially for that literature class, hey-o), I'll take them gladly.

Please, oh please send me mail. I love mail. I'll start sending out letters shortly as well. I wrote my first one yesterday. Parker Ynchausti, check your mailbox in two-ish weeks ;)

If you made it to the end of this post, I'm sorry. I'll try to be funnier next time. You know, incorporate some quotes from The Office or something. 

Big shout out to everyone who has reached out to see how I'm doing. Your thoughts make me feel like I'm less than 8,000 miles from home. I love all my people out there reading this and I can't wait to hear from you.

Much love,

Madeleine

PS - just want to shout out to my parents for learning how to FaceTime. Excuse my chins, but this was too good not to share.