yapese pass.

another monday sunrise.

Here’s the update many of you have been waiting for -

We finally had a basketball game. Not just a game, but a tournament!!!!!!!!

Set the stage: Sunday. April 30th. 8:50 AM. Area foreigner (me) shows up at sports complex to find no one there and gate chained up even though tournament starts at 9 AM.

10:40 AM. First game starts. 

Thaaaaaaaaat’s Yap, folks!

So if you remember, I am the coach for the men’s varsity basketball team as well as the women’s varsity team. There were two tournaments, one for high school men, one for women, to be held on the same day.

Three men’s teams entered. Two women’s teams entered. 

Guess what place we got?

Men’s: 3rd. 

Women’s: …………………………2nd. 

oKAY but in my defense, if we had been playing games all season with practices in between, I really think I could’ve shaped these teams into something! It was just really hard to know what things to work on without ever playing against other teams, you know? 

I was FULL FORCE Greg Ackels Sr. mode during these games. 

You know the one. Scratching illegible notes about the game on a piece of paper the size of a baby’s hand while calling plays and standing somewhere in the space between the player’s bench and the scorer’s table. 

The most noticeable difference is that I did not remain calm.

Here’s the lowdown - 

The tournament was Round Robin. So the first game was YHS vs. SDA. So, not us. YHS won. Actually, no, I don’t know if that’s true. I don’t remember. (very un-Greg Sr. of me to not remember such a detail)

Next, we (YCHS men’s) played YHS. Lost 22-52. It is easy to make excuses, so instead of blaming the refs (who are easily at the greatest fault here) I will blame this one play known as the “Yapese Pass”. 

The Yapese Pass is everything that is wrong with basketball on this island. It is messy, it is inconsistent, it is unreliable. The Yapese Pass is when you get a defensive rebound and launch the ball toward your basket, hoping someone on your team will be there to receive it.

The Hail Mary of Micronesian basketball. Literally just an absolute hopeful launch.

I banned it at practiced and told them at the beginning of the game to “watch the lane, be ready to steal sloppy passes, and don’t let me see a Yapese Pass or you’re DONE”. 

I don’t think they heard me.

Next game we played SDA. Lost 22-55, but it was more of a fun game. I scratched down lots of notes about fouls, baskets, assists, steals, etc. but you couldn’t possibly get a speck of information about that game out of me. I just don't remember. I suddenly have a rejuvenated appreciation for the articles my dad would stay up late writing after every single one of our games for every sport.

Everyone, for just one second, think about this:

My wonderful father coached all four of us in pretty much every sport we played at some time or another. I really think soccer might be the only exception. Once we started playing for the DPL, he would write an article after every game that the four of us played, whether he was the coach or not, and he’d send it to the parents of all of our teammates. The subject line of the email was always a pun using a player’s name, and the writing was always fast-paced, entirely accurate, and hilarious. He captured all of our games on that baby-hand piece of paper and retold the story so our families could keep them forever. 

What a guy. Dad, I love so much that you did that for us. So here's this make-shift version of an article, where I don't really tell you anything that happened in our games except that we lost.

Because my boys lost both games, we got third and did not proceed to the final game. Go figure.

0-2 season.

The next game was the women’s final (we made it!!!!!!!!).

We played the YHS team and, let me tell you, this is where I lose it.

When I played basketball, I’d get really fired up. I’d get really personally offended by fouls called or not called, by points scored or not scored, by anything that contributed to my team’s losses. I’d get angry. I’d get mad. The refs would call reaching but really I’d be throwing subtle(ish) punches. **ahhhem** championship game against Good Shepherd, circa 2007.

I couldn’t stay still during this game. Everything that makes me angry about basketball was happening. GIRLS WOULD TAKE SIX STEPS AND THERE’D BE NO TURNOVER. I’m not exaggerating. It was so messy and so hard to watch and I was RUNNING up and down my bench yelling EVERYTHING I could think of.

GUARD FOURTEEN!!!!!

HANDS UP!

WHY IS NO ONE DOWN THERE?1/???!?!?

WHERE IS THE DEFENSE????????????????????????????

OFFENSE??????

WHO’S SUPPOSED TO BE THERE??????????????

HELP HER!!!!!!

WHERE’S THE SCREEN?!

SCREEN?//!?!!!!11/11?!?!??!?!?!!?!!

WHO’S SUPPOSED TO BE ON FOURTEEN!!!!!!!!

*author's note: number fourteen is very, very tall.

I thought of my brothers yelling at refs as I held my tongue. I felt it unnecessary to make a name for myself as “psycho Catholic teacher” by getting ejected from the game, so I just let the refs continue to not call anything on either side. 

Is it just me or is it traveling when you fall while holding the ball? I can’t remember but I know I did actually yell about that one like eight times. 

I can’t remember the score to that game, it didn’t make it into my notes, but it’s probably best we don’t publish that information anyway.

0-1 season.

Basketball is officially over, which is a weight lifted, but I’m so glad it ended with that tournament. I truly wish we had more games, because that was a real highlight for me. I’d coach games all day and never run another practice as long as I live if that were a possibility. Games are mad fun. Would love to win one some day.

Last week, Nick asked one of the bars if they’d let us do karaoke there. So we ventured down to the one and only Pine Bar (also known as Pine Club and Pine Restaurant) to grace some lucky locals with some questionable song choices. 

dueting with my favorite island friend.

Laurel, shockingly, has the most impressive Shakira impression I’ve ever heard, so we made her sing “Hips Don’t Lie” and it was phenomenal. Not that any of you will ever meet her (unless you live in NOLA and want to hit her up, she’s super fun) but you should all hear her Shakira. It’s scary good.

Last Friday, the students held a Teacher Appreciation Day for us. They kept calling it “TAD” which was so funny. One thing you have to know about Yap is that everything has an acronym. And it’s a pretty faulty system because a lot of people don’t know what any of them stand for, so it’s just this widespread mystery. YCA, FMI, ESA, DOE. There are dozens. Add TAD to the list.

not sure WHAT is up with my eye, but here are all of the teachers on TAD.

TAD was awesome, though. Each morning we start the school day with a whole-school assembly. The teachers sit on this bench at the front of the room, facing all of the students sitting in front of them. On this day, our assembly featured students who would stand up and read an ode to a specific teacher, one at a time until all ten teachers had been honored. After each presentation, a few students would come put nuunuws on the head of the teacher being honored. It was so wonderful to hear the things that the students like or remember or appreciate about each of their teachers. 

My homeroom is the most energetic group of students in the school. It’s just a fact. So 60% of their reflection about me was a long list of apologies. 

We’re sorry for talking during silent reading.

We’re sorry for messing around during study hall.

We’re sorry for always coming up with excuses when you ask if we’re doing our homework because you’re always too smart and you know we’re lying.

We’re sorry we don’t have better comebacks when you roast us for not doing our work.

But they also had a lot of lovely things to say. I appreciate them so much.

obviously I cried a lot. a lot, a lot.

EXCEPT someone gave me a poison nuunuw.

Not technically, but there was a certain type of flower on one of my nuunuws that had a scent that was nauseating to me. I left the assembly with it on my head and went to my first period literature class. A group of students were giving a presentation so I didn’t have to do much (perks of student-guided learning). But with about ten minutes left of class, I was so nauseous. 

I walked to the front of the classroom at the end of the presentation and all of the students told me I looked super pale. I joked and told them I was going to faint and they’d need to carry me to the principal’s office. But then I almost did pass out so I slept on the couch in the faculty room for three hours before my next class. #work.

School has been great lately! In Literature, the students are reading Night by Elie Wiesel. It’s a memoire about the Holocaust. It has been very heavy, but I’ve enjoyed teaching this material to them. They’re being very mature about it, which allows us to dig deeper into supplemental information, like the psychological factors that contribute to things like Nazi culture and genocide. I have also enjoyed sharing with them photographs that I took at Auschwitz and Birkenau because there are many things mentioned in the novel that I saw myself (under different context, of course) and I think that has provided a new level of depth for the reading. The students really, truly know this is all real, because talking about such unimaginable horrors doesn’t always feel real.

sophomore selfie.

In History we’re talking about “Micronesian Government Today!” and the ins and outs of a federal system, checks and balances, separation of power, constitutions, etc. We did an activity on Friday where the students were acting as the unicameral Congress of the FSM and I was the President. They all wrote a bill and each student read everyone else’s bill and signed it if they liked it. If they had a majority of the signatures, they could bring their bill to the President. Then I held and open reading of all of these qualified bills and either passed or vetoed them. It was a great time. And, of course, we watched the "I'm Just a Bill" Schoolhouse Rock video and I told them they were now, officially, a part of everybody. Because everybody who's anybody has seen that video in school.

passing bills, in more ways than one.

In Scripture, we finished the textbook a while ago but we finished the year by reading Fr Greg Boyle, SJ’s novel Tattoos on the Heart about his time serving the Dolores Mission in LA. He started an organization called Homeboy Industries, as well as many affiliated organizations that help ex-gang members turn their lives around. It really is a great read if you’re looking for something in that realm, so go for it. It sure did make me miss my friend Carleigh who worked for Homeboy through JVC a few years ago. Props to you, Carleigh, for making this world a bit brighter by spreading the LOVE.

senior selfie.

I went and saw my old neighbor Angie today. She’s still as sweet as ever. And I bought a sweet new lavalava from her. It’s the pattern from Satawal, her island, and I’m really stoked to wear it. It has like a million colors on it - it’s my new fav.

my island mother, Angie.

Oh, and I must quickly tell you about the shoes pictured above in the photo with Angie. They're called duralites and everyone (who's anyone) has them. I felt I could not live an authentic Yapese experience without them. They're perfectly heinous and can serve as a flotation device in emergencies. Yap: where fashion meets function.

WELL PEEPS, WE’RE DOWN TO TWENTY-EIGHT DAYS UNTIL I’M TEXAS-BOUND.

One more month of waking up to the sound of an old man hacking up a lung right outside of my bedroom window on Saturday mornings.

One more month to eat rice and soy sauce as much as I want without anyone getting on my case about “health”.

One more month to listen to scores of roosters at all hours of the day and night.

One more month to fit in that dive with the sharks at Vertigo.

One more month of teaching barefoot.

One more month of teaching…in general. Actually, 8 more days of teaching. Forever. WEIRD.

One more month of wiping the carcasses of dead insects off my body.

One more month of watching the sun rise over the Philippine Sea.

One more month of having three different undiagnosable medical mysteries spreading on my skin.

One more month of riding my bike around the lagoon at sunset.

One more month of fifteen, sixteen hour time differences.

One more month of driving on the left side of the car.

One more month with my best friend and my greatest source of stability in Yap - my trusty electric fan that sits perched on top of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, four inches from my face at all times.

These are just a handful of the things I will miss after this month has passed. Some missed more than others, of course, but missed all the same.

I’ll finish this Yap Year out strong, thanks to all of you. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I could not and would not have done this without you! Thank you to everyone who’s still been sending me mail or messages - I love you ALL!

this is what happens when you let students use your phone.