crank dat air con soulja boy.

Every single day over the past two weeks I’ve said to myself or to others, “this is the sweatiest I’ve ever been,” and the thing is, each time I’ve said it I’ve been correct. The days are getting hotter and hotter, and the breeze is dying out. Can I get a what what for today’s heat index of ONE-OH-NINE?! The still, hot air is enough to make you lose your mind. It’s like every day is a three hour dabke at the Lebanese convention, except in this situation my nose is the biggest by far.

Something I’ve found funny since day one is that everyone here calls air conditioning “air con”. What ever happened to referring to it as A/C? Right? It just makes me think of “Con Air,” a movie I’ve still never seen despite my dad’s best efforts. I wish we could crank dat air con, but alas, we cannot. 

I’m making due with praying for gentle breezes throughout the blazing afternoons, and I feel like the Israelites in Exodus when they’re stranded in the desert for forty years (I just taught an analytical lesson about this - yeah, I can tell you what anagogical interpretation means - so let me have this moment of glory). So Moses was all, “God, can you provide some food for us so we won’t die here?” and He was like, “You got it, dude. But don’t be stingy.” And then the morning dew turned into manna but errbody in da club gettin’ greedy and obviously God wasn’t pleased. So long, unnecessary story short, I’m trying not to be greedy and just appreciate the breeze when the Lord (or meteorological science) provides it.

my favorite sight in the whole world: black silhouettes against a colorful sky  

Aside from the heat, this past week and a half was full of noteworthy events. Last Saturday was both hellish and enjoyable. What a combination, right? Some kids (seven, to be exact) wanted to spend the afternoon with us so we saw the island through the eyes of children. We used machetes to cut down bamboo to play with and later hiked up to a radio tower nearby.

The tower is about a 20 minute walk from the volunteer house, but this leisurely afternoon outing quickly turned into a nearly three hour excursion where my roommate Sarah and I ended up carrying two of the younger children up and down the hills for an excruciating period of time (because we were led astray and got very lost). Morale was low and rations were lower - we ran out of water in the first fifteen minutes so the third hour was a beating to say the least. But the view from the top was unbelievable - you can see the whole island.

pretty killer view.

I acquired two new possessions the weekend before school started. The first is not fully mine, but my roommate Abby got a dog. We had just watched Shrek so we named her Princess Fiona (are there even other female characters in that movie? UGH we should’ve named her dragon. Hindsight, man) but we just call her Fi. She’s preh cute I guess, but she ain’t no Riley. She ate her own poop for a few days but then we started feeding her more, so problem solved!!!11!!111! Straight up, we ("of course when I say we, I mean [Abby]") are taming a wild animal. Oh, and the other thing I got was a bike. It's sick. And I broke the chain on the second day of ownership but it's cool, I fixed it all by myself so I'm learning cool skills out here.

Last Tuesday, our first day of school, was a blur. I couldn’t tell you one thing that happened if I tried. Wednesday ended with me crying in my principal’s office telling him I’m a failure as a teacher and I’m not cut out for this job and I have no idea what I’m doing. The rest of the week was full of lessons that fell flat, jokes that killed for reasons unbeknownst to me (the students laugh at things I don’t understand, but then when I think I’m being hilarious there are crickets), accidentally putting my hand in gecko poop, (nearly 1,000) embarrassing moments where I called students by the wrong name, and countless moments of excitement that my brain won’t seem to let me remember because it is distracted by the negative.

truly, this place is a teacher's paradise.

You know in Daddy Daycare (yes, I'm making this reference) when Eddie Murphy is like oh yeah I can totally run a daycare and then he starts one and it’s a disaster? So let me rephrase the question - do you know the plot of Daddy Daycare (there’s my literature teacher mind hard at work)? Think of those early scenes, where the kids are running everywhere and it just makes you cringe to think that someone is doing so horribly at the way-too-big task they’ve taken up. That’s what my first week felt like. I am Eddie Murphy. Or worse, I’m the other guy who’s name I don’t know but sometimes I get him mixed up with John Goodman, but he’s not John Goodman. You know who I’m talking about? I’m good at describing things.

mild confusion after the first day. from left to right: Abby, Me, Sarah, Mike, Nick

Overall, school is so different from what I expected. Why did I think I could teach high school? It is soooooOooOoOOOoo different from elementary school. But, I didn’t quite like teaching elementary school, so I’m supposed to love this, right? Well, maybe. I don’t think it really works that way. This job is stressful and demanding and intimidating, but I can push myself to do it. Because it is also WONDERFUL and rewarding and exciting. My students are the hardest working people I have ever met, and I say that with a lot of confidence knowing them for only 9 days now. If they can work hard, I should be working even harder.

view from the classroom windows.

The mission of my school is absolutely beautiful. The aim is to bring these students, who typically enter on a 5th, 6th, or 7th grade level as freshmen, to be college-ready in just four years. Nearly all of the students will attend college off of the island, many going to schools in Guam, Hawaii, and the continental United States. A major goal for the school is to have students return to Yap Catholic High School with their degrees from competitive universities and run the school themselves. Hopefully, in just a few years there will be no more volunteer teachers. There will only be local teachers and administrators. This goal of a self-sustaining school is so inspiring, and I am grateful to be a part of this process. I am humbled by knowing that I am just playing a small and temporary role here, preparing future educators to take my place. I see so much promise in these students, whatever careers they decide to pursue. Gosh, they are brilliant kids.

Like one of my sophomores. He’s teaching himself Latin. WHAT. I could tell you something equally impressive about each of the 81 students I teach. But I’m already talking too much.

Okay wait, another thing about my students (sorry - I have to brag for them, culturally they aren’t allowed to brag!) THEY HAVE SOME SERIOUS PIPES. Every. Single. Student. Their singing voices are absolutely unreal. I shared a video on Facebook a few days back from our first mass and guys, the quality did not shine through. My juniors sing in homeroom as they’re packing up and I almost cry every time. They’ve been singing all kinds of hymns that hold real significance in my life and it always catches me off guard - they haven’t seen me cry yet (can you believe it?) but I know it’s coming.

I started a new hobby! Paddling. Like, in a canoe. I LOVE IT. And I’m good at it (but how hard could it be, right? WRONG. It’s hard, let me have this. “But it was hard for me, SO BACK OFF.” - Billy Madison). It feels great to find something new that you’re good at. One of the instructors, Sam, asked me several times if I was lying about never having done it before. Must be hereditary - I’ve inherited just about every other trait from my mother, so why not this one? Hope you can relive your war canoe days through me, mama. And BONUS, Mom! It's improving my posture exponentially. I'll be standing straight in no time ;)

learning to paddle the same way I learned to surf - dudes drawing lines in the sand (Leah).

One thing I have to be careful of is keeping my hands dry. If I start thinking too hard, I splash my paddle in the water and my hands get wet and that’ll lead to blisters. “Got some blisties…” “Yeah, you do.” (meeting my office quote-a for the week).

It feels amazing to be out on the water. No matter how far out we paddle, you can always see straight to the bottom. It is so beautiful. The water is a perfect shade of greenish blue. Those who have traveled with me, think: Blue Creek, Belize or the river running through Mostar, Bosnia. It’s stunning, and I am in love with the way the setting sun shines through the rain clouds and reflects on the water. Paddling at dusk is a straight up gift, and I am grateful for it. So I made some new friends (Jeff, Zach Schlapkohl…friends) who are older than my parents and found my after school activity for Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I’m stoked.

Also my gardening club is so fun but I obviously don’t know anything - like at our first meeting I was like, “Y’ALL LET’S GO PLANT THESE TOMATO PLANTS THAT SOMEONE GAVE ME” and they were like, “You can’t just dig a hole in the grass and expect things to grow,” and I was like, “oh.” —— And those are 100% direct quotes, so that’s how that’s going.

Time for a little shout out. MY DUDE - SMELLIOT. Elliot was the first person to send me a letter (okay, it was a postcard, but still) and it was the BEST. If you know me well, you know I’m obsessed with mail. I’m fascinated with the postal service. So please, feed my obsession and write to me! I made a bet with one of the Jesuits that we wouldn’t have mail every mail day (mail only comes in on Mondays and Wednesdays) but he said between us volunteers that we would definitely have mail every mail day. But I don’t know, y’all, I’m here for 40 something weeks, so mail me stuff and fill those gaps so I can be proved wrong (because Jesuits are always right). 

Gosh, I’ve written a novel and a half. If you made it to the end, congratulations! I love you all for reading. Know that I am doing well here. I am still so uncomfortable (like…every minute of every day) but I know this will subside. I will get used to this life. There are so many things to be grateful for, and I have wonderful friends and family members who remind me of that every day. Thank you for supporting in me and believing in me when life gets hard. Truly, you are the inspiration that keeps pushing me through the hard days. I would hate to let any of you down. I love you, thanks for reading!

K9 Advantix

Does anyone remember that K9 Advantix commercial? The one with the little golden retriever puppies at boy scout camp?

“Hello mother, hello father. Fleas, tics, and mosquitoes really bother. Thanks for the package, that’s why I’m writing. K9 Advantix really stops all the biting.” 

No one here (even the other volunteers) knows what I’m talking about. But holy cow, I could use some K9 Advantix right now. THE MOSQUITOES HERE ARE OUT OF CONTROL. “I hate it! I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all. And it’s terrible.” - Michael Scott

It’s rainy season right now, which means the mosquitoes are thriving in a way that no one appreciates. I’ve ingested a concerning amount of bug spray that is 40% deet, so like, you do the math. There’s no way that’s healthy.

But fear not! We have not let the the mosquitoes “deet-er” (deter.. puns are going downhill fast, people) us from having fun. Or breaking the law.

Breaking the law at a beach park during unbelievable wind and rain.

That’s right people, last week you all read that I don’t do drugs, but now I’m breaking the law!!! Mom and dad, your sweet daughter who loves you is a Yapese delinquent. 

Let me explain.

Last Saturday, the other volunteers and I decided to go exploring on the island. We wanted to find a good beach spot and other cool places that we could start spending our free time. We piled into Stanky Linda - apparently the volunteers gave this name to one of our cars a couple of years ago when they left the windows down through the pouring rain, and her stench and name still live on today - and headed north. After heading down ten different roads, all of which either dead ended or were too horrible to actually drive on, we found the water. 

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!

The first of many beach days.

There were a bunch of coconut trees growing up out of the sand, so naturally I started to climb one. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to shimmy up a palm, but it’s not as easy as they make it seem in Super Mario Sunshine (which easily makes the top five best gamecube games of all time amiright). 

really struggling, here.

From where we were, we could see the bluest water off in the distance. Apparently that is the main reef off of Yap.  People come from all over the world to dive there. We decided, the other volunteers and I, that we are going to wait until rainy season is over until we take our diving lessons. I’m sure by then we’ll be dying to have something to do, haha. 

Oh, but this excursion was illegal because every piece of land on Yap is owned by someone, and it’s basically trespassing if you drive around. And apparently the explicit use of the word “exploring” is a huge red flag. So in our exploration of the jungle and the beach last weekend, we were stepping on some major dirty toes. Oops.

We also found a Stone Money Bank! This is an old school form of currency on the island. I have a leaf because we're not in our village of residency.

I’ve spent some good time with our neighbor Mary this week. She showed us her garden and invited us to take whatever we wanted when we need it, so we offered to help her take care of it. I’m really interested in learning how to grow food and flowers, so I’ll be spending lots of time with her so I can become the Usain Bolt of gardening.

Speaking of Usain Bolt, missing the olympics has been really hard for me. If you know me at all you know I get hyped about global unity/competition/insanity. But don’t worry! Yap has its very own version of the olympics - the Yap Games! We went to the gold medal volleyball game (volleyball is huge here) and it was so much fun. Probably not quite as exciting as whatever Michael Phelps and Simone Biles did, but I still dig it (please send help, dad jokes are at an all-time high in my brain right now).

I’ve been dealing with something kind of fun lately. There’s this roach that lives in my bathroom and it has been there for six days now. It’s on the wall just above the door directly across from the shower. So I can’t really take a shower with the curtain closed because I need to keep an eye on the roach at all times, but it literally HAS NOT MOVED ONE INCH since I first noticed it at the beginning of the week. There is a constant need for concern.

Other noteworthy Yap things:

Just now, I had to run out in the pouring rain to rescue some clothes that were drying on the line in our yard, because spontaneous showers are a frequent, but very lovely, surprise. I absolutely love standing in the rain.

**I had a video of the rain but of course the wifi is terrible (worse than at home, if you can believe it, Greg) so I can't upload it

We watched a gecko attempt to eat another gecko while we were eating dinner a few nights ago. It was terrifying.

The roosters are afraid of me, but they also never try to get out of the way. It’s very strange. They’re everywhere. And they’re loud.

I left the lights on in our car the other night and the battery died. We asked a neighbor if they had cables and soon every single person in our apartment complex was outside trying to help us. It was amazing.

Breadfruit is gross. When it falls unripe from the trees it smells sour and makes walking slightly unpleasant, and the taste is confusing. It’s kind of like mashed potatoes when you cook it, but it has a very faint hint of fruit at the end. Can’t say I’m a fan.

ICE CREAM IS A MILLION DOLLARS. Most things you buy on island are imported, so pretty much everything is expensive. Ice cream is no exception, though it should be. A gallon ranges from $15-20. I’ve seen some three-gallon containers (shout out to my 301 girls, remember when we had six gallons in the freezer for a while while all of our frozen food was relocated to the bridge (please don’t forget that wambo)?) but they’re $35 and I don’t have that kind of money, nor do we have the freezer space. 

And here’s the big lol of the week. Not to give Arianne another shout out already, but Ari, get ready for this one.

I’m the women’s volleyball coach at Yap Catholic High School.

(also head of gardening club, but that’s just another thing I have to teach this year that I know nothing about. *cough* Micronesian History *cough* *cough*)

That’s right, Madeleine “The Wall” Ackels is back in action. For those of you who don’t know, that’s my athletic alter-ego. When I was in maaaaybe second grade, I was the goalie for my soccer team. I was a BEAST. People didn’t usually score on me. Probably through no skill of mine, though. I assume it was because the rest of my team was pretty dominant and the other team’s offense rarely made it into our backfield (are these even real words? what are sports?) ANYWAY. This one mother started calling me “The Wall”. Like I was a brick wall and no one could score on me, or whatever. 

^but if you really know me or if you knew me in elementary school, you know that I am the one in my family that didn’t get the athletic gene. I’m not the one who played high school football and scored a few touchdowns in his career like Greg. I’m not the one that was really good at basketball but also joined the bowling team for about eight minutes in high school until he heard it involved morning weight lifting sessions like Heaph. And I’m DEFINITELY not the one who picked up a tennis racquet as a joke and won the whole DPL tournament or who was nicknamed “Jennsler” (a la Ian Kinsler) during her unbelievable softball seasons or who was good enough for varsity basketball when she was a freshman in high school like Jennifer. No, no. Instead, I am the one who barely made the cut for Division 2 athletics in middle school, who was the mascot instead of a cheerleader, and who played a grand total of three innings in her eighth grade softball career. This same girl is a volleyball coach now (and an aspiring gardener).

The very first feeling I had when I found out I’d be coaching was pride. Pride that I’d be following in the footsteps of my father, who is the most wonderful coach. Many of you have been coached by him. He coached all four of his kids in every sport we played. He loves coaching so much that, even though the days of organized sports are long gone for his own children, he has not stopped coaching. I learned so much about sports and about life from him, and I cannot wait to pass these lessons along. I hope to make him proud. 

But I also hope to make all of you laugh with the ridiculous stories that will inevitably come from me attempting to tell someone how to play volleyball because I haven’t played in nine years. So.

lovely morning walks

School starts Tuesday morning! Which is Monday afternoon for you fine people. I’m mildly freaking out about my literature class, but otherwise I am beyond excited. I’m ready to have something to keep me very, very busy. Until then, I will keep avoiding the mosquitoes and exploring the island in secret.

yo MTV, welcome to my CRIIIIIIIIB (traditional community house)

dirty feet.

Hello, hello from the tiny island of Yap!

Many of you have asked how I am fairing these days, and I'm here to tell you that overall, I am doing extremely well! I am loving this new lifestyle, though many things are still unfamiliar or unknown.  I haven't cried nearly as much as I bet you think I have, but my emotions are certainly all over the place. One minute I'm over the moon excited about anything and everything, and the next I'm missing the most random things about home, like baseball and high quality toilet paper and indoor temperatures below 90 degrees.

My travel experience was far more positive than I anticipated.  I had a quick flight from Dallas to Houston, followed by a long one to Honolulu.  It wasn't until I was at my gate in Hawaii that I realized I was actually leaving the country.

Heading out with my biggest supporters and one rando backing me up!

It hit me pretty hard, and immediately after meeting Nick, one of my fellow volunteers, I began to cry. The weight of what I was about to do was suddenly so heavy. I was scared and nervous and I felt stuck. I felt uncomfortable.

I like feeling uncomfortable. Rather, I like the idea of it. Comfort is for the weak, I've always thought. What's livin' without pushing your limits, right? Ehh. That's kind of aggressive. In this state of sudden and suffocating discomfort, I began to change my views. Comfort is nice. Comfort is, well, comfortable. Why would we want anything different?

Nick, in his cool and collected state, unknowingly challenged me to push myself to stick to my original thoughts on this subject. I told a few people before I left that the reason I was doing this is because I knew it would be hard. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do hard things, because I was deeply inspired by someone who had recently proved this same thing to himself. Well, here I was, faced with this hard thing. Honolulu had proven to be just about too much for me, but I was only halfway to the place that will probably be the hardest challenge of my life so far.

We got to Guam, Nick and I, and had a pretty long layover. Everything in the airport was closed, it was some time late Tuesday night, and we were starving. We ignored our hunger by sharing stories and learning new things about one another (because we knew zero things about each other previously, except that we both saw Coldplay in NYC earlier this summer - off to a promising start).

With less than an hour left before we boarded our final flight, I saw the most comforting sight I had seen all day: a Mormon missionary walked up and sat in a chair at our gate. YES. She was soon joined by two others, and I realized that these people either served on Yap or in Guam and obviously I had to find out. 

There is a very specific group of people reacting to that last paragraph right now, and I know exactly who you are and what you're thinking. I know, I'm ridiculous. But, like, what else did you expect from me?

So Nick and I went to introduce ourselves to the missionaries. They're awesome, of course. AND ONE OF THEM IS BRITISH AND HE KEPT SAYING BRITISH THINGS LIKE "AYE" AND "I DON'T UNDERSTAND BASKETBALL" AND IT WAS GREAT. We soon discovered that they live very near to us on Yap and would be there the entire time that we'll be here, so it was good to already have some familiar faces. We have seen them three times now, so yeah. It's been grape.

We met Sarah, the third of our five volunteers, as we were boarding, and the three of us survived our shortest flight of all.  We landed in Yap, and here's where things get interesting.

I stepped off the plane around 12:30 am after nearly 30 hours of travel to be greeted by a woman in a grass skirt (topless, because arrivals are a formal occasion I suppose) who bestowed upon me a beautiful flower lei. We went through "customs" ("did you declare anything?" "nope." "okay, cool.") to see the smiling faces of the Jesuits and some of our future students.  They gave us each another lei and several headpieces, and they were so beautiful. It was like Coachella, but better because my flower crowns were made by young Yapese girls and instead of tripping on drugs I was just stumbling under the weight of my heavy bags/dealing with delirium due to lack of sleep. 

**Just an author's note for the olds out there, I don't do drugs. We're good.

So, there are three Jesuit priests and one in formation that live here in Yap. They, along with the principal of YCHS, have been showing us around and getting us acquainted with everything the past couple of days.  We are waiting on Abby, who arrives on Saturday, before they take us around the rest of the island. So far, we've only spent time in Colonia, a "major" city, and Nimar, our village that is within city limits.

Backyard at the Jesuit residence. INSANE, right?!

In these places, I have learned many lessons. I've survived giant bugs and awkward introductions and power outages and torrential downpours. Because this post is already so long (and mostly useless, my b), I will just tell you about one cool thing that is a permanent part of my life here.

Dirty feet are my new normal.

We take off our shoes before entering most buildings or rooms, so my feet are probably going to be pretty gnar when I get home (sorry, Jennifer).  But for real, I think this is the most exciting thing ever. I GET TO TEACH BAREFOOT. It's going to be really hard to get a job when I come home because I'll just have this expectation of not wearing shoes and everyone will get grossed out by me and I'll just get fired.

But for this year, I'm good.

My lil' school.

Guys, this place is truly NUTS. A thousand thoughts flood my head as I try to explain this island and everything on it in a blog post. I assure you there is no way you could understand Yap without being here, but over the course of the year I will try my best to paint an accurate picture of this beautiful island and all of the incredible people on it. There is a lot about being here that is challenging me so much already. Every so often I am reminded just how uncomfortable I am, but I'm surviving!

I am very ready to begin teaching. Yesterday, I got all of the books I'll use in my three courses and guys, I have my work cut out for me the next week and a half before school starts. Would you believe I haven't read ANY of the eight novels I have to choose from for my 10th grade Literature class? I feel like my high school teachers let me down (except you, Mr. Bauroth). Anyway, I started reading 1984 immediately and shabeep I love it already. 

Look at all those chickens.

Walking around the campus yesterday felt so good. I felt at home and at peace. I felt comfortable. It is hard being in a place so small with so little to do, but the start of school will give me more to do than I'll probably even have time for. I am ready to be busy and to feel needed. I'm ready to meet these kind and wonderful and unbelievably well-behaved students I've been hearing so much about.

I get to work with all four grade levels and I'm psyched. I'm looking forward to learning Micronesian History with my freshmen as I attempt to teach it to them. I'm freaking out about teaching poetry to my sophomores because, if you've ever taken a lit class with me you know how embarrassing it is to listen to me attempt to understand poems. I'm really excited about my junior homeroom class, which is apparently filled with a lot of hysterical personalities. And most of all I am so overjoyed about tackling the entire Bible with the seniors in our Sacred Scripture class. 

New chapel on campus.

Prayers for myself and my students and colleagues are so appreciated as we look to start the school year. I know that this is a job that I can't handle without the grace of God and I'll take any help I can get. If you have any tips or suggestions for me (especially for that literature class, hey-o), I'll take them gladly.

Please, oh please send me mail. I love mail. I'll start sending out letters shortly as well. I wrote my first one yesterday. Parker Ynchausti, check your mailbox in two-ish weeks ;)

If you made it to the end of this post, I'm sorry. I'll try to be funnier next time. You know, incorporate some quotes from The Office or something. 

Big shout out to everyone who has reached out to see how I'm doing. Your thoughts make me feel like I'm less than 8,000 miles from home. I love all my people out there reading this and I can't wait to hear from you.

Much love,

Madeleine

PS - just want to shout out to my parents for learning how to FaceTime. Excuse my chins, but this was too good not to share.