K9 Advantix

Does anyone remember that K9 Advantix commercial? The one with the little golden retriever puppies at boy scout camp?

“Hello mother, hello father. Fleas, tics, and mosquitoes really bother. Thanks for the package, that’s why I’m writing. K9 Advantix really stops all the biting.” 

No one here (even the other volunteers) knows what I’m talking about. But holy cow, I could use some K9 Advantix right now. THE MOSQUITOES HERE ARE OUT OF CONTROL. “I hate it! I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all. And it’s terrible.” - Michael Scott

It’s rainy season right now, which means the mosquitoes are thriving in a way that no one appreciates. I’ve ingested a concerning amount of bug spray that is 40% deet, so like, you do the math. There’s no way that’s healthy.

But fear not! We have not let the the mosquitoes “deet-er” (deter.. puns are going downhill fast, people) us from having fun. Or breaking the law.

Breaking the law at a beach park during unbelievable wind and rain.

That’s right people, last week you all read that I don’t do drugs, but now I’m breaking the law!!! Mom and dad, your sweet daughter who loves you is a Yapese delinquent. 

Let me explain.

Last Saturday, the other volunteers and I decided to go exploring on the island. We wanted to find a good beach spot and other cool places that we could start spending our free time. We piled into Stanky Linda - apparently the volunteers gave this name to one of our cars a couple of years ago when they left the windows down through the pouring rain, and her stench and name still live on today - and headed north. After heading down ten different roads, all of which either dead ended or were too horrible to actually drive on, we found the water. 

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!

The first of many beach days.

There were a bunch of coconut trees growing up out of the sand, so naturally I started to climb one. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to shimmy up a palm, but it’s not as easy as they make it seem in Super Mario Sunshine (which easily makes the top five best gamecube games of all time amiright). 

really struggling, here.

From where we were, we could see the bluest water off in the distance. Apparently that is the main reef off of Yap.  People come from all over the world to dive there. We decided, the other volunteers and I, that we are going to wait until rainy season is over until we take our diving lessons. I’m sure by then we’ll be dying to have something to do, haha. 

Oh, but this excursion was illegal because every piece of land on Yap is owned by someone, and it’s basically trespassing if you drive around. And apparently the explicit use of the word “exploring” is a huge red flag. So in our exploration of the jungle and the beach last weekend, we were stepping on some major dirty toes. Oops.

We also found a Stone Money Bank! This is an old school form of currency on the island. I have a leaf because we're not in our village of residency.

I’ve spent some good time with our neighbor Mary this week. She showed us her garden and invited us to take whatever we wanted when we need it, so we offered to help her take care of it. I’m really interested in learning how to grow food and flowers, so I’ll be spending lots of time with her so I can become the Usain Bolt of gardening.

Speaking of Usain Bolt, missing the olympics has been really hard for me. If you know me at all you know I get hyped about global unity/competition/insanity. But don’t worry! Yap has its very own version of the olympics - the Yap Games! We went to the gold medal volleyball game (volleyball is huge here) and it was so much fun. Probably not quite as exciting as whatever Michael Phelps and Simone Biles did, but I still dig it (please send help, dad jokes are at an all-time high in my brain right now).

I’ve been dealing with something kind of fun lately. There’s this roach that lives in my bathroom and it has been there for six days now. It’s on the wall just above the door directly across from the shower. So I can’t really take a shower with the curtain closed because I need to keep an eye on the roach at all times, but it literally HAS NOT MOVED ONE INCH since I first noticed it at the beginning of the week. There is a constant need for concern.

Other noteworthy Yap things:

Just now, I had to run out in the pouring rain to rescue some clothes that were drying on the line in our yard, because spontaneous showers are a frequent, but very lovely, surprise. I absolutely love standing in the rain.

**I had a video of the rain but of course the wifi is terrible (worse than at home, if you can believe it, Greg) so I can't upload it

We watched a gecko attempt to eat another gecko while we were eating dinner a few nights ago. It was terrifying.

The roosters are afraid of me, but they also never try to get out of the way. It’s very strange. They’re everywhere. And they’re loud.

I left the lights on in our car the other night and the battery died. We asked a neighbor if they had cables and soon every single person in our apartment complex was outside trying to help us. It was amazing.

Breadfruit is gross. When it falls unripe from the trees it smells sour and makes walking slightly unpleasant, and the taste is confusing. It’s kind of like mashed potatoes when you cook it, but it has a very faint hint of fruit at the end. Can’t say I’m a fan.

ICE CREAM IS A MILLION DOLLARS. Most things you buy on island are imported, so pretty much everything is expensive. Ice cream is no exception, though it should be. A gallon ranges from $15-20. I’ve seen some three-gallon containers (shout out to my 301 girls, remember when we had six gallons in the freezer for a while while all of our frozen food was relocated to the bridge (please don’t forget that wambo)?) but they’re $35 and I don’t have that kind of money, nor do we have the freezer space. 

And here’s the big lol of the week. Not to give Arianne another shout out already, but Ari, get ready for this one.

I’m the women’s volleyball coach at Yap Catholic High School.

(also head of gardening club, but that’s just another thing I have to teach this year that I know nothing about. *cough* Micronesian History *cough* *cough*)

That’s right, Madeleine “The Wall” Ackels is back in action. For those of you who don’t know, that’s my athletic alter-ego. When I was in maaaaybe second grade, I was the goalie for my soccer team. I was a BEAST. People didn’t usually score on me. Probably through no skill of mine, though. I assume it was because the rest of my team was pretty dominant and the other team’s offense rarely made it into our backfield (are these even real words? what are sports?) ANYWAY. This one mother started calling me “The Wall”. Like I was a brick wall and no one could score on me, or whatever. 

^but if you really know me or if you knew me in elementary school, you know that I am the one in my family that didn’t get the athletic gene. I’m not the one who played high school football and scored a few touchdowns in his career like Greg. I’m not the one that was really good at basketball but also joined the bowling team for about eight minutes in high school until he heard it involved morning weight lifting sessions like Heaph. And I’m DEFINITELY not the one who picked up a tennis racquet as a joke and won the whole DPL tournament or who was nicknamed “Jennsler” (a la Ian Kinsler) during her unbelievable softball seasons or who was good enough for varsity basketball when she was a freshman in high school like Jennifer. No, no. Instead, I am the one who barely made the cut for Division 2 athletics in middle school, who was the mascot instead of a cheerleader, and who played a grand total of three innings in her eighth grade softball career. This same girl is a volleyball coach now (and an aspiring gardener).

The very first feeling I had when I found out I’d be coaching was pride. Pride that I’d be following in the footsteps of my father, who is the most wonderful coach. Many of you have been coached by him. He coached all four of his kids in every sport we played. He loves coaching so much that, even though the days of organized sports are long gone for his own children, he has not stopped coaching. I learned so much about sports and about life from him, and I cannot wait to pass these lessons along. I hope to make him proud. 

But I also hope to make all of you laugh with the ridiculous stories that will inevitably come from me attempting to tell someone how to play volleyball because I haven’t played in nine years. So.

lovely morning walks

School starts Tuesday morning! Which is Monday afternoon for you fine people. I’m mildly freaking out about my literature class, but otherwise I am beyond excited. I’m ready to have something to keep me very, very busy. Until then, I will keep avoiding the mosquitoes and exploring the island in secret.

yo MTV, welcome to my CRIIIIIIIIB (traditional community house)